Month: August 2019

Teacher and pupils

Back to School: A Mental-Health Check List

It’s that time of the year again. When a simple three-word phrase evokes dread for most school-age kids and relief for most parents: “Back to School.” Yet, ask any parent, child or teacher, heading back to the classroom is not without its challenges. It can be an exceptionally difficult time of transition for children who suffer from a mental health or learning issue.

Anxiety – especially unrealistic self-expectations and generalized fear of the world at large – is growing among school-aged children and adolescents these days. Potential root causes for this are both broad and complex, and worthy of a separate, stand-alone article. So returning to school can be an enormously challenging task for any child. Let alone one who struggles with anxiety.

Let’s look at it through a practical lens. Children are away from home and routine, and the rules have changed. The school environment requires certain demands that a typical summer setting does not. Summer rarely needs a child to sit still, stay organized, remain focused and on task and adapt to an extremely structured schedule.

Here are five things you should keep in mind before the first homeroom bell rings:

  1. Anxious Parents, Anxious Kids.

Modeling confidence and calm behaviors are central to most parenting situations, particularly when preparing a child ready for school. By fostering structure and daily routine in family life (bedtime, homework, etc), parents will find this transition period to be much smoother. Giving your kids too many choices about routine can backfire and ultimately put them in the seat of control. Remember, you are the parent.

Anxiety issues and traits can run in families. Children with anxious parents run a greater risk of experiencing anxiety themselves. It is still debatable (just read all the conflicting studies when you are having trouble sleeping) as to whether it is genetics, environment, both or something else, but there is no smoking gun when it comes to the root sources for anxiety.  Yet, it is quite observable that children – and most adults – can be like energy sponges, absorbing energy and assimilating behaviors. Remember, a child is usually no calmer than his or her least-relaxed parent. Anxiety can impact someone’s ability to focus, stay on task and is generally categorized by a state of unrealistic and persistent worry.

Sometimes it can be difficult to vet between what is age-appropriate behaviors and anxiety, but if you have concerns you should first discuss these with your child’s teacher and then a mental health professional should the behaviors continue to escalate.

  1. Teachers Can Be Your Best Ally.

Teachers get to know how a child behaves without family being present. Thus, parents can gain information about learning difficulties and peer problems and friendships. Teachers are your closest allies when it comes to your child’s success in school, and you should talk to them regularly. You will learn more about how your child is navigating his or her world, both academically and socially, by talking with the teacher.

  1. Routines Are Crucial.

Above all, be positive and encouraging. Examples of some good routines might include creating an uncluttered work space in the home; organizing a backpack, reviewing assignments; and discussing homework. You can observe your child’s strengths and weaknesses this way while also establishing and fostering good study habits. Also, be sure that your child is staying hydrated with lots of water and has the recommended amount of sleep for his or her age group.

  1. Don’t Worry.

Kids grow, learn and develop at different rates. A delay in one area of development doesn’t necessarily mean your child has a disorder. There needs to be significant evidence and some testing to reach any firm conclusion. However, if you suspect there might be a problem with your child’s development, talk to her teacher and consult with a mental health professional.

  1. Leave Them Alone.

This may sound counterproductive or even counter intuitive, but a child needs downtime. A schedule that is bursting at the seams, with little or no room for relaxation is also ripe for an anxious or depressed child. Give them time. Life is short, sometimes hard. Don’t unpack your stuff on that person who happens to be your child. Give them breathing room, and let them find out that the world can be a secure and inviting place without regimented schedules.

If you would like to continue the conversation or discuss more techniques to overcoming anxiety, contact me to schedule an appointment or free phone consultation today.

In Good Health,
Don

Woman playing with the Rubik's Cube. Rubik's cube invented by a Hungarian architect Erno Rubik in 1974.

The Summer Puzzle

I gotta tell you…as a child born in the early 1980s, there was no shortage of fun and excitement to experience.  Not in the “let’s spend every waking hour outdoors, surrounded by nature while being parented by all of the neighborhood mothers” sort of ways, like the 1970s kids experienced, but in the “what is this thing I can buy and take home and be entertained by” sort of way.  In the ‘80s, if a thing could be packaged and sold to you, it was; and one of the things I coveted most as a kid (but never received) was a Rubik’s Cube.

A Rubik’s Cube, if you are not familiar with it, is a six-faced cubic puzzle that has entranced (and frustrated) millions of people the world over in the nearly 40 years since its invention.  They were enchanting to me; I’d watch commercials of whiz kids turning the cube this way and that in record time, matching up all of the colors in some ridiculously quick amount of seconds. I’d see one at a friend’s house and give it a try here and there, but I had never mastered it.  It was way too confusing for me.  I’d look at it, turn it over in my hands, and eventually leave it alone, walking away completely disoriented.

I thought it was a kid thing.  Surely, as an adult, I’d be able to figure it out with little to no effort! So when my son, who celebrated his birthday earlier this year, was gifted with a Rubik’s Cube, I’d sneak it out of his room at night while he slept, determined to best the thing once and for all.

Did I do it? Friends, I did not.

I still haven’t.  But I smiled. Because…I found it!

Here’s what I mean: earlier this summer, I had toyed around with the idea of coming up with a Summer Project – a skill I could commit to learning that wouldn’t take too long to do, but also something that would boost my self-confidence.  I’ve tried this in past years, but I needed something that would presumably be quicker than the more laborious work I had chosen, like knitting and crocheting, and something not too intense (as most stay-at-home moms will tell you, being at home with kids in the summertime is often intense enough).  I wasn’t able to find anything, and was getting discouraged by my lack of follow-through. So when the Rubik’s Cube came into the house, I had a thought: I could do this! Maybe not in record time, and definitely not on the first try (or fiftieth, apparently), but it could definitely happen.

So I’m still going to try to hit my summer skill goal.  And you can, too! Maybe it’s not a Rubik’s Cube. Maybe it’s perfecting a new recipe, going from point A to point B without using a Google Maps, or it’s learning how to change a tire or sew a button…whatever is manageable for you is the perfect choice!  And because it’s still summer, there’s still time! Let’s try a new Summer Skill, and once you’ve chosen one, let me know in the comments, and we’ll boost our confidence together. Good luck!

Until next time, be well!
Christy

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About the author: Christy Gualtieri is a freelance writer specializing in pop culture, religion, and motherhood. She lives in Pittsburgh with her husband and two children. Christy also blogs at asinglehour.wordpress.com and tweets @agapeflower117. You can  follow her here on eTalkTherapy for inspirational articles and different perspectives as they relate to good mental health.