Gathered Around the Table

Well, here we are: the first “back to normal” Thanksgiving holiday since 2019; and like many Thanksgivings before it, it’s a time that can be fraught with heated political discussions, arguments, opinions, and time with family and friends that can seem incredibly heavy.

Or, not. It can also be a time of great relief, celebration, joy, eating delicious food that will lead to a fantastic nap on the couch while the Lions/Bills game blares in the background, and not much else.

Chances are, it may be a little of both, the way life is a lot of both. That’s usually the way it goes, even if the lovelier parts can be difficult to see through the muck of the daily grind. I can recall a Thanksgiving where we announced to our families that we were expecting our first child, and vividly recall the loud shouts of joy and the cheers that followed. A year later we didn’t see our family for Thanksgiving because my mother was dying and we had spent so much time traveling to be with her that we needed to stay put for a while. Same holiday, yet a very different feel to each one.

So I can understand the trepidation someone may feel when a big holiday is around the corner that may potentially cause problems. But I’d like to take this opportunity to gently remind you that while yes, Thanksgiving can be a holiday that may have historically been troublesome for you, that you are not the same person you were a year ago. In what ways have you changed since last Thanksgiving?

I know you may be thinking of the ways in which you feel you’ve changed for the worse since last year (that was my first impulse too), but try and push past that initial wave. Take some time to really think about it. You may feel some memories of a bad situation that happened in the last year, a sorrow or a problem; but you do have some resiliency – you are here, after all. In what ways have you gotten stronger (physically, emotionally, or spiritually)? Have you improved a skill? Have you dedicated your time to something outside yourself that has benefitted you in some way?

In what ways can we say we are stronger this year? Are you able to stand up for yourself in a setting where you’re getting together with people for the holiday? And if you do or not, what are some ways you can take care of yourself after the holiday has ended?

When I had issues with food and eating some years ago, one phrase around the fraught time of Halloween through New Year’s (and particularly Thanksgiving, because so much of it is surrounded by food) that I found really helpful was “_____ is just one day.” Thanksgiving is just one day.

I hope it’s a day for you that is mostly filled with celebration and joy. But if it is not, I hope that one day can be easily moved past. That you can look in the mirror that day or the next and recognize that you are stronger than you were a year ago. That you are able to think for yourself where you might not have been able to a year ago. That you are able to find what you need to give yourself more easily, in order to help you grow closer to peace and joy this year.

Until next time, be well!
Christy

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About the author: Christy Gualtieri is a freelance writer specializing in pop culture, religion, and motherhood. She lives in Pittsburgh with her husband and two children. Christy also blogs at asinglehour.wordpress.com and tweets @agapeflower117. You can  follow her here on eTalkTherapy for inspirational articles and different perspectives as they relate to good mental health.

A Beautiful Example of Love and Friendship

Lesson Learned At the Bowling Alley

This past summer, I took my kids bowling for the first time in what felt like a million years. The lanes weren’t crowded, and it was a great place to head to beat the summer heat. As we played our first round of games, three men walked over to the lane beside us to start their games. One was a man with profound special needs, another seemed to be his caretaker, and another seemed to be his brother or a close friend.

The man with special needs was the only one bowling: they put up the bumpers so he wouldn’t get gutterballs, and he was having a great time sending the balls soaring down the heavily polished lane. He was excited when he knocked pins down and was frustrated when only one or two would go down, but over time, I realized I wasn’t watching him much at all: it was his brother (or the man who I assumed was his close friend) who caught my attention most.

He didn’t bowl, but he boisterously encouraged his friend through every try. “You got it!” he’d say by way of encouragement before the ball went down the lane. “That was a great shot.” When the pins would be knocked down, he’d say admiringly, “No one can bowl like you, that was amazing.” If not all the pins went down, he’d say, “Don’t worry, you’ll get them next time!”

Just simple encouragement, the entire time in a voice that was not condescending, or apologetic but 100% genuine. He was proud, and it was indeed no big deal that this man who was his friend was bowling just like everyone else.

The thing that struck me most about the exchange that I saw was that it cost this man literally nothing to be so encouraging. He didn’t have to, after all; he could have taken his friend bowling and nodded or given a few claps here or there. But he didn’t – he made the choice to be completely in the moment and a beautiful example of love and friendship.

I think often now about those moments that I am afraid to encourage people in my life. Why am I afraid to do that more often? Is it because of how I think I will look to others? Is it because I will make others suspicious? Is it because I’m afraid of getting ridiculed too? I don’t know. It gave me food for thought, though, and maybe this story will give you some, as well.

Who can you encourage in your life today? Who can we reach out to, as genuinely as possible, to lift up? Is there anyone in your own life you seek encouragement from when you’re down? We all have the ability to lift others up when we come across them, and it doesn’t cost us anything to put a smile on someone’s face. Give it a try today!

Until next time, be well!
Christy

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About the author: Christy Gualtieri is a freelance writer specializing in pop culture, religion, and motherhood. She lives in Pittsburgh with her husband and two children. Christy also blogs at asinglehour.wordpress.com and tweets @agapeflower117. You can  follow her here on eTalkTherapy for inspirational articles and different perspectives as they relate to good mental health.

Meet Therapist Bridgette Petras

Join us in welcoming our new therapist Bridgette Petras to our growing eTalkTherapy family! Bridgette’s therapeutic style is supportive, highly individualized and focuses on helping clients find healthy ways to cope with life stressors. Bridgette’s areas of focus include dependency issues as well as depression and anxiety. Get to know more about Bridgette in our Q&A:

Therapist Bridgette Petras

What does therapy mean to you?

Helping someone untangle their thoughts and gain insight that is supportive of self growth.

What makes therapy successful?

Having a great rapport and continuing to support and encourage self growth.

How has COVID-19 shaped your role as a therapist?

Yes, COVID-19 has challenged me to adjust to doing therapy over the phone compared to face to face in my office.

Describe yourself in three words?  

Creative, curious, and honest.

What was the last book you read? Thoughts on it?

“Greenlights” by Matthew McConaughey – I’m reading it now.

If you could meet someone living or dead, who would it be AND why?

Leonardo DiCaprio ( because he’s my favorite actor and I’m impressed with his humanitarian work and support).

Share something about yourself that others would be surprised to learn?

I studied the Arabic language in Morocco.

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If you are looking to make positive changes in your life, we can help! Please contact us today about how to register and schedule your live video counseling session with Bridgette.

Follow eTalkTherapy on Facebook and Twitter for updates and articles related to good mental health!

Meet therapist Brady Figuly

Breaking the Ice with Therapist Brady Figuly

Therapist Brady Figuly with his new catJoin us in welcoming our new therapist Brady Figuly to our growing eTalkTherapy family, who has the unique ability to meet people where they are and he uses that skill to offer compassion and understanding in the therapeutic relationship. Brady’s areas of focus include depression and anxiety. Get to know more about Brady in our Q&A:

What does therapy mean to you?

Therapy, for me, is the safe space to process through things that have been distressing or uncomfortable for you. I became a therapist because my therapist helped me through some really hard times. When I started seeing my therapist, I started turning my life around. I was able to pick apart all of the unhelpful thoughts I had and the maladaptive behavior I learned over the years that is no longer beneficial to my healing process. I became a therapist to help those who are struggling like I was; to help people who were like me and thought they were beyond or undeserving of help or thought they were going through it alone. You are not alone. You are loved. You are important.

What makes therapy successful?

Therapy is a process. It can take a long time and feel like nothing is changing. Success is hard to find when you are in the middle of working through tough issues. Successful therapy, to me, is looking back on yourself and reflecting on things and realizing that you have made steps. Realizing that you’re not the person you used to be and that you no longer hurt like you used to. Success can be hard to define, but I look for it in the small victories every day and in recognizing that growth has been made. You made it through the thing you thought you’d never make it through.

How has COVID-19 shaped your role as a therapist?

Covid-19 presents all kinds of new challenges to therapy. It has shaped me mostly in that I’m realizing that most of us are struggling with day-to-day life. I’ve realized stress from the outside world can have huge effects, even when we are taking time for ourselves. It’s made me appreciate the importance of having people to talk to, who are willing to go through the trenches with me. Covid has shaped my role in that I am learning how to deal with these new challenges and adapt and I’m also learning that it is okay to take this stutter-step and learn how to deal with these things.

What is your life philosophy?

My life philosophy is to treat others better than you want to be treated. I think it is often very easy to meet anger and frustration with anger and frustration, meeting those feelings with acceptance and even vulnerability (when appropriate) can change the tides of the conversation and your relationship with that person. 

therapist Brady FigulyDescribe yourself in three words?

Three words to describe myself: Empathetic, calm, thoughtful 

What was the last movie you saw? Thoughts on it?

The last movie I watched was “The Fantastic Mr. Fox.” I love Wes Anderson movies (The Grand Budapest Hotel is my favorite) and this one was no different! I think most of his movies are serious enough without taking themselves too seriously. He does a great job of mixing the sad and tough parts of life into absolutely hilarious, witty. and just generally comforting movies.

If you could meet someone living or dead, who would it be AND why?

If I could meet someone, living or dead, I think that I would want to meet Mac Miller. I am a huge fan of his art and it breaks my heart that he was taken so soon.

Share something about yourself that others would be surprised to learn?

Some people might be surprised to learn: I love hockey and have played three different kinds of throughout my life. I played dek (on foot) hockey from 9th grade to freshman year of college, ice from 8th to 10th grade, and roller all four years of college.

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If you are looking to make positive changes in your life, we can help! Please contact us today about how to register and schedule your live video counseling session with Brady.

Follow eTalkTherapy on Facebook and Twitter for updates and articles related to good mental health!

Welcome Therapist Alicia McAllister

Meet Therapist Alicia McAllister

Therapist Alicia McAllister
My fiancé and I went to Paris, in December 2019, to celebrate my 26th birthday as well as to visit my brother, who was there for study abroad. At the end of the trip we all flew back home to make it in time for Christmas.  🙂

Join us in welcoming our new therapist Alicia McAllister to our growing eTalkTherapy family, who brings with her a wealth of experience and a refreshing perspective on the importance of therapy and what makes therapy successful. Alicia’s areas of focus include depression and anxiety. Get to know more about Alicia in this Q&A:

What does therapy mean to you?

To me, therapy means that there is always a path to recovery. It is a safe space for everyone to feel accepted and heard.

What makes therapy successful?

What makes therapy successful is the collaboration and strong therapeutic relationship that a therapist and their client have. Having that relationship allows for the therapist and client to work as a team to help the client achieve their goals.

How has COVID-19 shaped your role as a therapist?

COVID-19 has shaped my role as a therapist by helping me learn how to overcome unexpected obstacles, both in my personal and professional life, so that I can still offer support to those in need.

 What is your life philosophy?

“The meaning of life is to find your gift, the purpose of life is to share it” -unknown 

Describe yourself in three words?

Funny, Motivated, Loyal

What was the last movie you saw? Thoughts on it?

The last movie I watched was Enola Holmes on Netflix. I thought that it was a cute movie and I liked how the protagonist was witty and smart.

If you could meet someone living or dead, who would it be AND why?

I would want to meet Fannie Lou Hamer because she played a major role in the women’s rights and civil rights movements.

Share something about yourself that others would be surprised to learn?

Others would be surprised to learn that I love musicals.

If you are looking to make positive changes in your life, we can help! Please contact us today about how to register and schedule your live video counseling session with Alicia.

Follow eTalkTherapy on Facebook and Twitter for updates and articles related to good mental health!

Bienvenidos Therapist Mary Mehlburger

Hello and Hola! Join us in welcoming the newest member of our eTalkTherapy family, Mary Mehlburger, who brings with her a wealth of clinical experience and is our first Spanish/English speaking therapist.

Welcome aboard Mary! It is good to have you and your expertise, warmth and therapeutic skills available to all our clients. Get to know more about Mary in today’s blog post.

 What does therapy mean to you?

Therapy gives someone the opportunity to form a connection that supports them, while still challenging them to grow and progress. This connection acts as a model for forming new relationships in a person’s life.

What challenges or rewards are there in learning and knowing Spanish for therapy?

Using the Spanish language increases an individual’s comfort level, allowing therapeutic interventions to be more meaningful.

How has COVID-19 shaped your role as a therapist?

Many people are experiencing elevated levels of stress due to COVID-19 that is affecting all areas of their life. This has presented a new challenge, as there is not yet a concrete answer to coping with these new anxieties. However, it does create a common ground to which most people can relate.

What is your life philosophy?

I live by the idea that you only live once. I try to use this philosophy during stressful times to ground myself and during fun times to be present in the moment.

Describe yourself in three words.

Independent, fun-loving, driven.

What was the last book you read?

I am currently reading “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne. It describes the meaning behind our words and how to use those words to elevate our lives. I love books like this because they give new ideas for my personal life, but also to present to my clients during sessions!

 If you could meet someone living or dead, who would it be and why?

I would meet my maternal grandmother. She passed shortly after I was born, but everyone says that I have her wit, ambition, and strength.

 What is something that others would be surprised to learn?

I love to box! I am a regular at my local boxing gym.

Complete this sentence: “The quality I value most in a friend is…”

The quality that I value most in a friend is their loyalty and trustworthiness.

Complete this sentence: “The quality I value most in myself is…”

The quality that I value most in myself is my work ethic.

If you are looking to make positive changes in your life, we can help! Please contact us today about how to register and schedule your live video counseling session Mary.

two women on a bus wearing face masks looking at their phones

Love in the Time of Covid-19

Well, that came out of left field, didn’t it? For most people, I mean. You may have felt the tremors, but I’ll be honest with you: I certainly wasn’t expecting it. But that’s how life-changing (really, truly life-altering) things go, really: they’re sudden, even when you know they’re coming. There’s always a before, and then an after. Right now, I suppose we’re experiencing the during. But there will be an end, and then will come the befores and afters.

This cosmic blend of same and different – I’ll give you an example: I observed my neighbor getting into the car and backing out of her driveway. Same. She stopped the car to stretch blue medical gloves over her hands. Different. Here’s another: my kids learn during the day. Same. At home now, with me, rather than at school. Different. A hundred million little transitions that we need to make, and are making, sometimes without even thinking of them.

One of my mother’s favorite things to do while she was still alive was make us watch all of her favorite movies. Some were great fun (“The Birdcage”) and some were considerably less fun (“Spartacus”). The all-time great was (and I actually agreed with her) “The Sound of Music.” And now that I’m a mom, I get to make my kids watch my favorites, too. So, with great effort, I removed my much-screen-refreshed phone and settled in with them for three hours of merriment, humor, telegrams, and a wonderful puppet show. The VonTrapps, they too dealt with the same and the different. They too dealt with evil, and fear, and heartbreak against all of that beautiful mountain scenery. 

Humanity experiences suffering. Same. Humanity experiences COVID-19. Different. It is okay to feel every emotion you feel about it. It’s okay to cry when Fraulein Maria marries Captain VonTrapp, even if you’ve seen it fifty times. It’s okay to wonder what happens to Max at the end of the Austrian folk festival, because you know Herr Zeller wasn’t going to let that go. And it’s okay to be afraid when you’re fumbling around in the darkness, stumbling blindly toward the first light you see.

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As part of their new educational experience, my kids watch one episode of “Our Planet” on Netflix per day. The episode on forests was particularly striking, because it shows the resiliency of our wonderful, absolutely amazing planet. There is a segment on a forest fire, and only a few months after hundreds of miles of forestland was absolutely devastated from fire, the floor was blushing again with green, with vines, with life.

As we go through our own, very particular fire of fear and uncertainty, don’t look down only in sorrow, and in regret, and in fear. Look down to see the life that is growing just below, underneath. Invisible, but certain.

Same.

Until next time, be well!
Christy

 

Hand hygiene. Person in the bathroom is cleaning and washing hands with soap

Anxiety, Stress, Social Distancing, & Healthy Control

By Mandi C. Dalicandro-Turk MSPC, NCC

Anxiety, frustration, change, and uncertainty are a realistic and at times, a stressful part of life that humans grapple with. Currently, society as a whole is in a pandemic with many feeling highly anxious, fearful, and uncertain of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) and the long-term impact on society, the economy, loved ones, and the outcomes of overall health and wellness. It’s natural to have fear and anxiety of the unknown; to feel your healthy controls are being taxed and possibly becoming depleted.

During this time of uncertainty in the weeks to follow, there are ways to feel reasonably prepared while decreasing stress, anxiety, and worry.

Consider the following:

Grappling with Anxiety & Stress

For those experiencing anxiety, that have anxiety disorders, and/or a predisposition to stress, the fear and worry about the health and wellness of you and your loved ones, the economy, finances, having essential medications and supplies over the next few weeks or longer can feel overwhelming for some. Others are frustrated with feeling society is over preparing. Most are hoping for a level of preparedness and a positive outcome without mass hysteria.

During times of chaos and confusion, many seek out information from the news, social media, and other sources. It’s important to stay informed, it’s also vital to find good information based on statistics, data, and facts. Choosing how much to engage in information and when to disengage (put your phone down) assists with lowering feelings of uncertainty, of being out of control, and catastrophizing what is happening in the world around you. It’s normal to feel a sense of uneasiness, vulnerability, anger, confusion, and cognitive dissonance about the future.

It can be stressful for families and for parents to know how to talk with children about what’s happening. Being open, honest, and factual is important on an age appropriate level.  In addition, it’s important to balance your own fears during conversations and to do your best to monitor your own anxiety, anger, and stress to keep from instilling an unnecessary foundation of anxiety in children to potentially grapple with. It’s an opportunity to open a dialogue for critical thinking about individual feelings, values, the meaning of exploring those feelings moving forward, and how a person can learn and grow from what is happening.

It’s natural to feel the physiological and psychological impact of anxiety, it’s a protective mechanism; the fight or flight response in humans and animals. However, it’s what you do with the anxiety and stress you’re experiencing. Check in with yourself on how intense your feelings are, how long symptoms are lasting, and how your daily life is impacted. Implementing realistic expectations, allowing for flexibility, tapping into positive coping, tolerating frustration, and adapting for what is within your healthy controls day to day can help with lowering symptoms and the long-term impact. It’s beneficial to spend time in the present moments, practice gratitude, and enjoy yourself as much as realistically possible.

Social Distancing

Social distancing puts individuals at risk for social isolation; especially when depression, anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues are present.  It’s important to have awareness of the differences between social distancing and social isolation by checking in with yourself on how you’re feeling day to day. Consider what activities you’re engaging in or not doing at all. This is a good opportunity to carve out time to rebuild a relationship with yourself, reflect on what’s important, watch the sunrise or sunset, and connect with family and friends via phone, social media, or through email. Getting back to basics can feel healing and reaffirming; especially when focusing on significant and already established relationships. Make family time fun by keeping it simple. Hopefully, this is a time for children, adolescents, and adults to take a break from the high stress and pressures of a few daily responsibilities and obligations.

With that being said, if you’re in a stressful situation at home whether it’s due to a strained relationship with your partner or feeling overwhelmed by stress and responsibilities, take time away to rebalance. Consider listening to music, going for a walk or run, spend time with your furry friends, laugh and enjoy yourself, and do your best to focus on who and what you do have in the present moment, which includes your relationship with yourself. Check out online options in your community for working out, yoga, supports, and keeping up with physical and mental health. Focus on your strengths, tap into your supports, and treat yourself with compassion.

Healthy Controls

It’s beneficial to be present and work within what is in your healthy controls. Healthy control is different than attempting to control uncontrollable factors and attempting to control those around you in unhealthy and damaging ways. Healthy control is an internal sense of strength, presence, and balance. It’s trusting yourself and valuing where you are, what you’re feeling, and what is best in moving forward. Therefore, it’s making decisions that work well for you and your loved ones in ethical and healthy manners. Putting life in perspective, having a level of preparedness, and moving forward from there realistically.

Allowing some time to decompress and enjoying time with those in your shared environment as much as possible is within the realm of healthy control.  Check in with yourself and your loved ones; if your mental health or your loved one’s mental health is suffering and/or you or a loved one is struggling, feeling overwhelmed, and need to talk, reach out for support. Therapy where you’re meeting face-to-face online through a HIPAA secure site from the comfort of your own home is a safe, healthy, confidential, and convenient way to work with a therapist and to begin the healing process.

In conclusion, find ways you can feel content, ways you can help yourself feel balanced, and reasonably safe without adding undue stress, anxiety, and social isolation. Do your best to plan in realistic areas and to take one day at a time when planning isn’t possible. Consider where your information is from, look for statistics and data to assist with keeping anxiety and the stress of the unknown as low as possible.  There are many opportunities for self-reflection, growth, connecting with loved ones, and to engage in healthy and beneficial ways. Seek out the support of an online therapist if you’re feeling overwhelmed; even in the midst of a pandemic you can get the help you need. It’s important to treat yourself well, with compassion, and to check in on how you’re feeling.

Keep first responders, medical professionals, and individuals at increased risk for direct exposure in your thoughts, and individuals with higher risk for complications too. It’s important to come together as a community in safe and healthy ways to increase feelings of belonging and to decrease anxiety, stress, fear, and social isolation.

Stay safe, healthy, and well!

Learn, grow, & enjoy,
Mandi

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MandiTurk[1]Mandi Dalicandro-Turk writes about a variety of topics related to mental health, behavioral health, relationships, stress, anxiety, aging, grieving, self-care, therapy, and improving one’s overall quality of life.

girl running through flowers in spring time

We Get Spring

There’s a catchy pop song that was a big hit a few years back, and part of it echoes so plainly in my ears now: “How am I going to be an optimist about this?”  That song was about Pompeii, and what’s swirling around us these days is, no doubt, just as much of a candidate for the history books.

I don’t really know how I’m going to be an optimist about this, but I may have one little idea: I will sleep when the baby sleeps.

For those of you who aren’t parents, the phrase “sleep when the baby sleeps” is given to new* parents to remind them that they too need rest, and that you’d better get while the getting is good.  Of course you want to stay up and fret about whether your baby is breathing in the night. Of course you want to gaze for hours at their features while you hold them in the moonlight. But babies wake up, and cry, and nurse, and because you didn’t sleep while the baby slept, you’ll be tired and cranky the whole time, and possibly want to throw anything within arm’s reach at your napping husband.

And so it is in these long, languishing days of quarantine, I will sleep when the baby sleeps. Not really sleep, of course, because my kids are much too fond of crawling all over me and incessantly asking me questions, but I will just focus on what the immediate need is, at this moment. It’s all I can do. It’s all anyone can do.

Farmers have a similar saying: “Make hay while the sun shines.” There’s no point in making hay while it’s raining; it’d get ruined.  So instead, you clean the dishes or wash the walls or count raindrops sliding down the window. You do what you can with what you have in front of you.

We all want to make hay, I get it. We all want to watch the baby sleep. But most, if not all of us reading this will need to pretty much be sitting in their homes, where those things just cannot – or should not – get done. So what can you do? How can you be an optimist about this?

I can’t answer that for you. But for me, it’s truly getting down to the brass tacks. The minutiae of it all – what’s in front of you.

We have more time for walks, the kids and I, because we’re homeschooling now and there’s no one to tell us no. The smallest buds are coming out, and the robins have soared back into the yard, looking for bits and bobs to feather their nests. My kids are excited that Spring is earlier this year. “Because the groundhog didn’t see his shadow!” Says the oldest. “Yeah!” chimes the younger. “Punkshatawney Film didn’t see it! We get Spring!

We get Spring. Yes, we get trouble, too. But we get Spring. Enjoy it! And take a nap, when you can.

Until next time, be well!
Christy

*This advice is only for first-time parents, because once you have more kids all bets are off…unless there’s a tremendous gap in age between your kids and you have one newborn and one teenager who works and can drive themselves anywhere they like. Well done to you, I say.

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About the author: Christy Gualtieri is a freelance writer specializing in pop culture, religion, and motherhood. She lives in Pittsburgh with her husband and two children. Christy also blogs at asinglehour.wordpress.com and tweets @agapeflower117. You can  follow her here on eTalkTherapy for inspirational articles and different perspectives as they relate to good mental health.

People are celebrating Thanksgiving day

Holiday Self-Care

It’s that time of year again! Pumpkin-spiced everything’s been overtaken by chocolate peppermint; the sun won’t come out all day again until March; and shopping malls are striking up the Christmas songs and lining families up for photos with Santa.

It’s time for family gatherings, class parties, and office gift exchanges – and before you know it, it’s time to meet up again for celebrations ringing in the New Year. It’s a lot, and it’s easy to be overwhelmed!

The holidays can be difficult for everyone for a wide variety of reasons.  Here are a few tips to help you through the next few weeks!

  1. Breathe. I know, I know. It sounds so basic. But aside from it being the most important thing you ever do (…because what happens if you don’t?), it’s important to do it slowly.  Slow breathing is key to calming your overexcited nervous systems and keeping your mind clear. (For a visual, it’s helpful to slowly breathe in like you’re luxuriously smelling a flower, and to breathe out like you’re blowing out a candle.)
  2. Give yourself space. If you’re at a gathering and you need a break from time to time, take one! You don’t need permission – you’re a grown-up! Just do it. When you’re eating a sit-down meal, seat yourself (or ask to be seated – I don’t know how fancy the party is!) at the end of the table or nearest the doorway so you don’t have to crawl over fifty people to get some fresh air. Take a few minutes to yourself, also with some calming breaths if you need them, and rejoin the activity when you’re ready – not when someone else is dragging you back in.
  3. Share your feelings – either with yourself by writing them down or drawing them in a sketchbook, or by opening up to someone who is close to you and who you know will try their best to help you feel better. Getting your fears, worries, frustrations, and your grief out in the open will keep you from bottling them up inside and making you sick.
  4. Drink more water. Full disclosure: water is my least favorite drink and I know how hard it is to make an effort to drink more if you don’t like to, but it really is important. It flushes out stress hormones and really cold water will give you something to focus on as a distraction from over-anxiety. It’s also a good idea to drink a glass or two in between samplings of holiday punch!
  5. Look at a calendar. Because shopping is such an integral part of the American holiday experience – and because companies essentially lose an extra shopping week due to a late Thanksgiving this year – holiday sales and holiday everything seems to be in the air for an extremely long amount of time. It’s perfectly okay to realize that the holiday season, if it is a hard time of year for you, will end this year. Hanukkah does last for eight days and there are twelve days of Christmas, but the celebrations will eventually come to an end…and there is a brand new year just around the corner waiting for you to enjoy it.

No matter how you spend your holidays, remember to find something in your life for which you’re thankful. It may be family, it may be your home or your job or something as simple as your streaming service subscription – but no matter the thing, focus on the thankfulness – and keep looking for more!

Until next time, be well!
Christy

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eTalkTherapy - talk with a counselor online

About the author: Christy Gualtieri is a freelance writer specializing in pop culture, religion, and motherhood. She lives in Pittsburgh with her husband and two children. Christy also blogs at asinglehour.wordpress.com and tweets @agapeflower117. You can  follow her here on eTalkTherapy for inspirational articles and different perspectives as they relate to good mental health.