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5 Great Reads for Winter

by Christy Gualtieri

In a few days we’ll be celebrating the arrival of 2019, but the end of the year offers a great opportunity to hunker down, find a few moments of peace and quiet, and lose ourselves in a really good book or two. Reading is one of life’s greatest pleasures and can (and should!) be enjoyed year-round, but in case you’re in need of some recommendations, here are five of my favorite reads for this early Winter season.

One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories by B.J. Novak

If you’re caught up in the stress of the hustling and bustling of the season, take a few minutes to grab B.J. Novak’s hilarious set of short (some are very, very short) stories. These tales are laugh-out-loud funny and will keep you chuckling as you remember them while you wait in an hour-long line to mail out gifts from the post office. Whether it’s a thoroughly-embarrassed hare challenging his nemesis, the tortoise, to a rematch race; a middle-school boy who finds out his rightful place in a sugar-cereal dynasty; or a Tony Robbins fanatic who will stop at nothing to make her fantasies a reality, you’ll bound to find a favorite.  And the shortest stories are easy to read in between moments of holiday insanity – definitely a plus!

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Originally marketed to young adults – but great for readers of any older age – this thought-provoking, utterly dazzling work examines the importance of reading and literature as an unmeasurable gift to those who are suffering.  The novel takes place in Nazi Germany and is narrated by Death (who, needless to say, has seen a lot of terrible things); he tells the story of a young girl who clings desperately to the life that reading gives her – even as she goes so far as thievery to obtain it.  It’s best paired with a warm blanket on the couch and an endless supply of a hot drink as you read!

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving

This is a favorite that I read every October; and although Halloween has come and gone, it still fits.  Fall in love, just as Ichabod Crane did, with the drowsy beauty of Tarry Town and its magical inhabitants, and shiver delightfully as you hear the story of the Headless Horseman.  The story itself is quite short, and makes for sumptuous reading. It bears little resemblance to the fantastical Tim Burton movie, but it’s a lot of fun just the same.

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders

An innovative take on President Lincoln’s life, this novel places its focus on Lincoln’s young son, who died at a young age of an illness, and his time in the “Bardo,” the space in time many Buddhists believe exists after death but before being reborn. Told by a fascinating cast of characters, it’s dark enough to keep you interested but peppered throughout with moments of levity – and gives you a lot to think about in those moments of time you have to yourself during the holiday crunch.

Wintering by Kate Moses

Another book that aims for a biographical touch, Wintering focuses on the life of American poet Sylvia Plath and the few years before her death at age 32.  Weaving through different time periods, the reader gains a sense of the frustration, loneliness, and sometimes despair of the anguished writer and her troubled marriage to English poet Ted Hughes; but the writing itself is intensely beautiful and razor-sharp, perfect for immersing yourself in during long wintry nights.

Check them out at your local library, see if you can catch a deal at your favorite book retailer, or ask a friend to borrow their copy! Happy reading!

Until next time, be well!
Christy

 

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In Defense of Kevin McAllister’s Mother

Warning! Spoilers ahead for the plot of “Home Alone”… which was released in 1990.  If you’ve managed to go this long without hearing how this movie ends and you think you’ll be upset reading about it…well, I wouldn’t read ahead!

My son loves the first Home Alone movie. This is his second year watching it, and I love to see him absolutely doubled over, laughing at Kevin’s elaborately planned house of terrors for his enemies. I’ve loved the movie since I was a kid, and it’s a lot of fun watching the next generation enjoy it, too.

One thing that has stuck out at me over the last few years is how much I’ve identified with Kevin’s mother, Kate. She realizes, mid-flight to Paris from Chicago that she’s left her son behind, and is absolutely determined to do whatever it takes to get back to him. With no sleep, no comfort, plenty of time on airplanes, and a hitched ride with Midwestern polka players in a rental truck, she finally gets home to him. The film is, of course, mostly about Kevin and his preternatural survival skills – but in a very real way, it’s also about his mother’s journey.

Since I’ve become a mother, I’ve cried every time I watch the film when they’re finally reunited. Because I get it: even though Kate endured days of intense anguish and physical discomfort, Kevin is too young to realize it. He just knows that she’s home now; and even if someone sat him down and explained it to him, he would mostly just be happy that she made it home. And that’s what parenthood is, really – consistently placing yourself in situation after situation that will serve to benefit your children and your family above what you need. It’s painful, yes, and more often than not, uncomfortable. And your kids might not know, or understand, or even care if they do understand.

But that is what refines us as people, I think. Think of all of the hardships you’ve had to endure. How did they change you as a person? They might have made you bitter; that’s fair. Or they might have made you anxious, or beset with worry. But they might have also helped you realize that you are capable of hard things, because at the end of the day, you are still here – and you are the better for it. Maybe you’ll think smartly about certain things now, or become more cautious or pragmatic. Maybe you’ll be more patient now then you were before. More understanding. Hard things help us to become better overall…but, it’s also better to experience them with help. If you’re going through a hard time and find it difficult to believe that you can be a better person from it, please reach out for assistance, in whatever way you need it. You will get through it with somebody. And you’ll learn from your mistakes, even if it takes a few tries to let it sink in.

I mean, Kevin got lost again like two years later, in the sequel Home Alone 2. But I’m blaming that one on his Dad. Kate remembered.

Until next time, be well!
Christy

The Accidental Existentialist Issue 5

The Accidental Existentialist Issue 5

The Accidental Existentialist Issue 5. Photo by Alexander Stanishev at UnsplashRead the Winter 2018/19 edition of The Accidental Existentialist, eTalkTherapy‘s quarterly online magazine now or download the PDF to read later. In this issue you will find great articles and new works by Point Park University journalism student Derek Malush, mental health professionals Támara Hill, Morgan Roberts, and Mandi C. Dalicandro-Turk. Leave a comment to let us know what you think – Enjoy!

The winter sunset looms. The darkness gathers quickly, and the cold winds blow, but there kindles inside us a hopeful side to the long winter months. A flame remains in spite of its obscured existence. So here is my challenge to you, Dear Reader, stoke the flame.
May you head into the New Year believing you can make it a great year. Most  importantly, may you head into 2019 with a plan.

Great things in life seldom happen without resolve, energy and a creative spirit. The good stuff is the result of vision, strategy, hard work, and patience.

There’s some truth to what naysayers spout about resolutions, but the concept of resolutions is a good one. Used well and with good intent, they can provide the focus needed to turn goals into that ever elusive “new normal.”

We all have answers to what we want out of life. The problem is that we ask ourselves the wrong questions. Instead of asking “How?” or “Why?” try “When?” or “Where?”
Many people who’ve lost weight were rarely successful on the first or second try. Yet, they persevered.

If a goal is worth dreaming, it’s worth relentless effort and passion. Perseverance and resolve are key. Little in life is accomplished without them. So rather than abandon your New Year’s resolutions, add this one: “I resolve to keep my New Year’s resolutions.” Create a life worth living. Navigate those uncharted waters and stop being your own worst critic. Commitment counts. Remind yourself frequently of what you hope to achieve, and pursue it with urgency. Life is indeed short, with no guarantees. When does it start for you?

Have a Healthy and Happy New Year.

Peace,
Don

In this issue:


King. Me.
by Derek Malush

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Life is habitually referred to as a game. Numerous pieces, various rules, and the board on which we play is the ground we tread on.

Take chess for example. An intellectual’s game, which entails limitless hours of
practice to mature one’s strategy. I often amused the thought of chess as just
being an old person’s game. That when you see chess being played, it is, as
sappy indie films tell us, usually two older folks trying to out-duel one another
using their ripened wit and arduous tactics as if the rusted gates had just
dropped down on the beach of Normandy…Read more


Managing Family During the Holidays: 5 Roles to Avoid
by Támara Hill, MS, NCC, CCTP, LPC, Owner at Anchored Child & Family Counseling

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How do you plan to spend the holiday this year? Are you dreading the family gatherings? If so, you are not alone.

Research suggests that the holidays are often a time of intense grief and feelings of loss, existential discomfort (discussed below), revisiting of traumatic experiences, overwhelm with materialism and commercialism, and the dispiriting conversations around the table…Read more


Midterm Elections 2018: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
by Morgan Roberts, MSPC

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2018 saw a historic midterm election. Though, let us be honest, every election is historic. It shapes our government for years, and possibly generations. I am looking at you, Senate, for confirming known-assaulter Brett Kavanaugh.

However, what we saw was a glimmer of hope, the realities of a rigged system, and you know, white people just being themselves. You are probably reading this, hinting at my personal bias here…Read more


Navigating the Holidays & Associated Emotions with Awareness
by Mandi C. Dalicandro-Turk, MSPC

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During the holiday season, images of a crisp snow covered lane, with the view into the frosted window of a warm and cozy home, the scene of a blazing fire, a long decorative table filled with scrumptious holiday delights, and loved one’s surrounding the table brings feelings of dissonance for many. The holidays absolutely have the potential to bring feelings of intimate experiences filled with belonging, exhilaration, sharing, and gathering with loved ones.

For many, however, there are increases in stress, anxiety, depression, feelings of loneliness, difficulties with grieving and loss, conflict, and contemplation…Read more


Do you have an idea for an article or would you like to contribute to our magazine?

This is your opportunity to submit educational and informative content that promotes growth in all aspects of mental health issues from an existential or humanistic perspective. Upon publication of your article, you will receive a $25 stipend.

Submit your queries at eTalkTherapy.com/submit.