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The Accidental Existentialist Issue 3

Read the SUMMER 2018 edition of The Accidental Existentialist now or download it to read later. In this issue you will find great articles and new works by mental health professionals Dr. Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell, Morgan Roberts, Mandi C. Dalicandro-Turk and Don Laird. We would love to hear from you, please leave a comment below – Enjoy!

“The sun struggles up another beautiful day,
And I felt glad in my own suspicious way,
Despite the contradiction and confusion,
Felt tragic without reason,
There’s malice and there’s magic in every season…”
— Elvis Costello

TAE_JanFeb18_Issue1 — Click Cover to Read or Download PDF

In spite of the sunshine and best of intentions, the summer months can sometimes feel like a glass half-empty, glass half-full question. It is the noontime of our seasonal clocks and, in my case, a faint reminder of the noontime of existence. Seasonally we are poised to reach our yearly zenith of sunshine, warmth and outdoor activities. Yet, at fifty-two years of age I am situated well into the second half of my life. With luck, I might have another 30 years, but the reality of it is, and existentially speaking, there are no guarantees. For all intents and purposes the shadow of death grows just a bit larger with each passing day. Unlike when I was in my thirties, I feel it now. It’s not a concept, theory or construct; it’s physical and it can haunt my thoughts at the damndest times. The words of Nietzsche seem to echo for me these days in a different, but comforting way, “We would consider every day wasted,” remarks Nietzsche’s Zarathustra, “in which we had not danced at least once. And we would consider every truth false that was not followed by at least one laugh.” May your summer be long and filled with as many hopes, dreams and fulfilled wishes as you can imagine.

Peace,
Don

In this issue:

(Smultronstället) Wild Strawberries: Therapy and the Art of Aging
by Don Laird, MS, NCC, LPC, DCC

Since their inception, motion pictures have allowed us to explore the human condition through an amalgamation of sound, lighting, editing, musical score and performance, coupled with traditional storytelling. To claim that one film more than any other illuminates the arc of human existence that it has become a standard by which all other films of its type shall be measured may seem like an overstatement. Yet, Ingmar Bergman’s Wild Strawberries manages to accomplish this in 90 minutes of postwar beauty. Read more…

Love Wins: Groundbreaking LGBTQIA Leaders Through History
by Morgan Roberts, MSPC

Every June, there are Pride Parades throughout the country and world, celebrating gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual individuals. Nevertheless, there are many who continually attempt to invalidate the lives of those in the LGBTQIA community. More conservative states frequently pass legislature hindering the community which contradicts public opinion. The Human Rights Campaign reported in 2014 that 59 percent of Americans support marriage equality, with 61 percent of people favor allowing same-sex couples to adopt. Read more…

Grief Matters: Living with Loss
by Dr. Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell, Cpsychol, UK Chartered Counselling Psychologist
(Follow her blog at https://dr-chloe.com)

As a Grief Psychologist, I have the privilege of working with people from all over the globe who are struggling to find a way to embrace life meaningfully again after a very painful loss.

Grief is inevitable. All of us will experience it at some point in our life and how we respond to it is unique to us. Grief is a personal, psychological response to the death of a very loved one and when it happens – whether expected or sudden – it is painful, disorientating and knocks our sense of who we are, how we are and what feels relevant and meaningful again. In grief, our regular way of being is no longer relevant. People often talk about feeling lost and alienated. Read more…

The Impact of Chronic Stress
by Mandi C. Dalicandro-Turk, MSPC

Stress is difficult to contend with for many. Chronic stress has the potential to impact an individual’s physiological and/or psychological health and well-being. Long-term, the probability exists for stress to spillover into important facets of daily life, and affect an individual’s capacity to function.

HPA Axis
Health related issues begin systematically, many times, prior to an individual having awareness of physiological and/or psychological issues being present or the associated long-term effects. The hypothalamic pituitary adrenal (HPA) axis has an important role in fighting and managing stress. Read more…

Do you have an idea for an article or would you like to contribute to our magazine?

This is your opportunity to submit educational and informative content that promotes growth in all aspects of mental health issues from an existential or humanistic perspective. Upon publication of your article, you will receive a $25 stipend.

Submit your queries at eTalkTherapy.com/submit.

The Underdog In Us

Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, the Pittsburgh Penguins, fresh off a Stanley Cup win, have entered the second round of the NHL playoffs.

Wait! Wait, come back, non-hockey fans! I have a point that’s much larger than hockey to share. But since you’re already here, you may as well appreciate a few things about this team. They are not, in general, well-liked by hockey fans outside of Pittsburgh, much in the same way the NFL Patriots are absolutely despised anywhere out of the greater New England area. I get it. This is mostly because of all the winning, and even more mostly about a particularly talented young man named Sidney Crosby. It’s hard to have haters, but I feel as though he handles it particularly well. Also, the Penguins have won Stanley Cups two years in a row and are now trying for their third. It’s been done before, but not for a long time (the last three and a half decades). So this run is a bigger deal than most.

I did not grow up a hockey fan; in fact, I spent much of my adult life categorizing it as a sport that existed but wasn’t as in your face and all over the TV as football and baseball were. Hockey was like soccer to me, or race-car driving; I knew there were fans of it, but I’d never really met more than one. But the first night of our honeymoon, my husband and I sat down in a Florida bar and noticed a dozen or so other patrons crowded around a TV projector, and found they were watching hockey. And not just any hockey, Pittsburgh hockey. This was 2008, and the Penguins were making their first serious run for the cup in a long, long time, since the Lemieux days. And that excitement of an underdog – this team full of young, though talented, kids – winning big surrounded us when we moved to Pittsburgh a couple of weeks later and never really left.

It’s fair to say now that the Penguins aren’t underdogs – no team fresh off of two championship wins in a row qualifies. But I love underdog stories, don’t you? I don’t really know who doesn’t. Why do we love them so much? I have a few theories. One is, of course, because it’s how we see ourselves. We know how many times in our lives we’ve been kicked down and told we weren’t good enough. We know how we didn’t look the same as others / sound the same as others / have as much money as others, and maybe it lit a fire under us to prove ourselves. Another theory is that we love how hard underdogs fight, even if it’s more than we would. Or maybe we love them because of how much they believe in something. They mirror to us the potential that we could have, too. They fight The Man, and they win.

But underdog stories only work if they overcome their odds, or get very close. They don’t work if The Man keeps kicking them down and they don’t get back up. They don’t work if the Pittsburgh Penguins never win any games. (Then they just become the hockey equivalent of the Cleveland Browns.) They don’t work if there’s no fight left in them.

Which brings me back to us. When was the last time you felt like an underdog? What lit that fire in you to fight back against the lies The Man told you that kept you down, that made you feel less than? What words did you need to tell yourself, or the words someone told you that you needed to hear, that reminded you that you are good, and you are worthy of love, and of living a full life? If you haven’t heard those words yet, then let me tell you, and never mind that I’ve never met you in real life. These words are true anyway, and they’re for you:

You are good. You are worthy of love. You are capable.

You can fight, and you can win. Maybe not today – and that’s okay. Maybe this isn’t the year that the Penguins three-peat. But the rest still stands, regardless.

Now go out there and get ‘em!

Until next time, be well!
Christy

Shadow, Light and Latte

by Aurora Starr

Sitting in the coffee shop I watched with fixed curiosity as a thirty-something woman entered from the rain-soaked sidewalk. Her choice of attire; a colorful skirt and solid blouse with smartly matched leggings and subtle make-up simply shrieked of someone who was poised and full of purpose. As she carefully ordered some variation of a flat white, caramel, green tea infused what-the-fuckuccino I took note of her face. Was she rushed? Flustered? Indecisive? No, shit, she looked beautiful and confident, didn’t she? One might even say that she appeared to be brimming with self-assurance. I quickly adjusted my sweater, smoothed out my skirt and then thought about shifting my attitude.

Mean Girl – Table for One

My thoughts can quickly leap from that of cool, calm Zen goddess to the founder and CEO of Imposter, Inc. Self-sabotage is something that I’m sure most women and girls are familiar with, but we rarely talk about it. Yet, the inner-mean girl seems to always be waiting just on the other side of the locker room and she is not happy. How am I certain of that? Well, if my thoughts suddenly shift to, “There are people far better and more talented than you. Life comes to them naturally and everything for you is a struggle. You’re going to fail so why even try?” then I know I am committing self-sabotage. My personal favorite from the Mean Girl Greatest Hits Compilation, “Who do you think you are? Don’t be too happy. You lucked out and people will see through you soon enough.”

The Great Pretender

What I just described is known as impostor syndrome and it is produced by feelings and thoughts of worthlessness, insecurity, and devaluation of self. In fact, even high-achievers often fear being exposed as frauds. It can occur when trying something new or even when doing something familiar. It is a constant threat of “being exposed” on a professional and/or personal level as a con-artist, and a belief and bias that most of what you do is all about the timing and people will find out.

Self-awareness can be a frustrating quality to possess. I know these things, but what do I do with them? Talk to a friend, a therapist, a priest? What good will any of that do? Then the light-bulb goes off, no amount of thinking will change anything. I’m caught in the same self-defeating, help blocking loop that brings me full circle when it comes to self-sabotage. Something must change, and I’m the only one with any control over that realization.

I am not an impostor or a fraud. I am here because I’ve worked for it. There will always be others doing it better than me, but there’s only one me. Period. I have a voice that is my own, and I want to share it with the world. It’s not about being selfish or egocentric. It’s about affirming my right to be alive and engage with others in a meaningful and helpful way. Doubting my self-worth will do little to help.

Now if this is beginning to sound like one of those self-help books or seminars, let me save you the trouble. Stop reading. I won’t mind, really. I am the first one to call bullshit on all the women and men who profess to have the answers to life and happiness and peddle their reality as truth and common sense as some sort of universal awakening.

Being Perfect in My Imperfections

When we set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and goals that are based on what we think others want then we are drafting the blueprints for self-sabotage. Instead, begin to focus on the value of what you’re doing rather than how you’re doing it. In other words, determined action is far better than perfection. Ask yourself, what value can you find in the things you do? And don’t compare yourself with others, especially on social media. Those outlets are little more than masturbation, fun for a moment, but not a substitute for a real face-to-face encounter.

Allow for the time to honor and take inventory of your professional and personal achievements without shrinking away in self-deprecating negative talk or minimizing your efforts. Again, there will always be someone, smarter, richer, prettier and more talented, but that shouldn’t stop you from being a creative beast and contributing your efforts to the world. Big or small, your accomplishments and hard work count. Be proud – smile and say thank you when you are recognized for an accomplishment. Above all, own it.

Our life journey should not be one based on comparison. It really is not a competition. I am no better or worse than the person next to me. Our life situations are different, and we are unique, but we are no better or worse by comparison. It’s all relative.

As for the woman in the coffee shop? I watched her exit as composed as she had entered, quickly hailed a cab and made her way into the rainy cityscape. I wished her the best on her journey and then wished the same for myself.

Shine bright,
Aurora

Please note: The opinions expressed in this blog are not necessarily the views of eTalkTherapy. Aurora Starr is a freelance writer, not a therapist, and her views, thoughts and opinions are her own. However, if you are easily offended then Aurora’s blog may not be for you.

Experiencing Winter in Healthy Ways

By Mandi C. Dalicandro-Turk, MSPC

For some, winter evokes the visualization of a warm cozy fire, and the sight of a freshly fallen snow. For others, it’s contending with months of the rigid cold, darkness in the early hours of the evening, months of long nights, and the occasional icy conditions. Many experience each in combination. The winter season keeps many from engaging in activities that are enjoyable for most times of the year, brings people indoors, and at times, isolated and with minimal supports, more time to think, and lowered frequency of social interactions.

The following considerations will give a combination of factors that many contend with throughout the winter season, and examples of ways to cope with and experience winter in an array of healthy ways.

1. Distraction-the healthy kind: It’s essential to consider how an individual’s temperament, personality, emotional lability, mental health, and/or behavioral health impacts day to day functioning; especially during the winter season. For example, an individual with a negative affect has potential to increased vulnerability to depression, anxiety, and mood disorder. For many individuals, the months of early evenings and dark nights contribute to isolation and increased frequency of a negative internal dialogue, which may contribute to isolation, less social supports and positive interactions. Each of these factors impact an individual’s quality of life greatly. It is important to find ways to increase positive interactions, and lower negative and self-defeating thought processes.

This type of distraction is a great coping mechanism for contending with the winter seasons. For example, the presence of a negative internal dialogue, anxious and/or depressive behaviors and symptoms are difficult for individuals to experience; this becomes more difficult during times where increased isolation, less options for activities, and the potential for less supports is present. Learning the discipline to distract from negative thoughts more readily will increase mood, positive thought processes, and decrease depressive and anxious symptoms, while allowing negative thoughts to minimize. It is important to note that at times, negative thought patterns, and anxious and depressive symptoms are part of a long-term cognitive process and more difficult to distract from. When this happens, a person does have the option to allow, for example, ten to fifteen minutes to focus on the negative thoughts, journal those thoughts and feelings, and then begin engaging in distracting behaviors. Additionally, if the negative thoughts and/or feelings return, it is natural to feel frustrated. However, if this does happen, it is important to remember that with practice, it will be easier to distract from the negative thoughts and feelings. Practicing distraction in this manner has the potential to decrease the intensity and duration of negative internal dialogues, and assist with symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Examples of Distraction are found below in Change the Environment.

Change the Environment: Consider what is enjoyable; especially during the warmer weather when the opportunities for activities seem more available and with a more extensive variety of choice present. Now get creative. Take one or more of those activities and consider what could replace it during the winter months. For example, replace the adventure of hiking with snow tubing or take a brisk walk when the weather conditions permit. If spending time in the elements feels a bit overwhelming, volunteer, spend time with pets, or possibly volunteer at an animal shelter; if that feels enjoyable and seems to be a good cause. In addition, take time away from social media, and carve out time to have conversations with friends or family. This is beneficial over the phone and definitely in person. It is common to feel a shift in mood, increased levels of relaxation, and overall feelings of wellness after visiting with family or friends. Spend time laughing and engaging in humor, have a game night, or watch a funny movie. It is enjoyable and brings a healthy and light-hearted fun to daily life. Lastly, take time to meditate, listen to music, and/or dance.

***

Therapy: When difficulties with mood exist, it’s essential to talk with your therapists. The process of therapy assists with issues with mood, symptoms of depression, anxiety, and an array of behavioral health and mental health issues. For example, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is present in approximately 5% of the population and occurs approximately 40% of the year (Kirlansik & Ibay, 2013, p. 607). Most times, SAD begins during the fall or winter months and starts to subside during the spring. However, this pattern has the potential to be present in the summer months (American Psychiatric Association, 2013, p. 187). In this occurrence, the individual feels much better during winter months (American Psychiatric Association, 2013, p. 187). Symptoms of SAD may be mild, moderate or severe. It is vital to seek out a therapist at the onset of difficult and distressing symptoms; especially when symptoms become unmanageable and begin to interfere with daily activities. At times, an individual may feel restless, have difficulty concentrating or starting a task, feel anxious, experience high levels of stress, and/or have a lessened desire for things enjoyable at other times of the year. It’s imperative to seek out support before emotional difficulties during the winter season manifest into SAD; especially if a biological predisposition exists and/or environmental factors are present. A therapist will be able to utilize a variety of methods, treatments, and techniques to assist with managing and lowering symptoms and restoring overall behavioral health and mental health.

***

Natural Light: Exposure to natural light daily is essential. It assists with elevated mood and increased vitamin D levels. Therefore, open the blinds and take time outside when weather conditions permit. The winter season lasts for many months and taking this opportunity as often as possible is important for experiencing a healthy winter. On warmer days, it may be in the form of a walk or taking time out for a hot cup of tea on the porch. Give as many opportunities for sunlight and fresh air as possible. On the days the temperature is high enough to crack a few windows without increasing heating bills, take time to enjoy the rare opportunity. Take time to enjoy the natural sunlight while commuting to and from work each day. I enjoy the opportunities for fresh air and sunlight from opening all the windows in my vehicle. I find it relaxing. Lastly, if natural sunlight is difficult to get exposure to, for any reason, there are light therapy lamps available as an alternative. I have known therapists and clients that use light therapy during the winter months.

***

Start a Project: Projects are a great way to enjoy the winter months. It’s a time to enjoy accomplishing things indoors; in the warmth of home. At times, there is opportunity to tackle larger projects in the home during the winter. This could be working with wood, painting a room, or refinishing an entire section the house (yes, this has potential to be enjoyable for some). However, if this feels overwhelming, start small and tackle cleaning out a few drawers or reorganizing a small area. With any project, it is important to feel a sense of accomplishment once the project is completed. I occasionally take time to build something small out of wood. It’s something I learned many years ago from my father and continue to enjoy currently. Additionally, many individuals enjoy working in the arts, which has potential to feel therapeutic as well. Winter is a great time to take a class in something enjoyable. For example, my neighbor takes a painting class and has mentioned many times how much she enjoys the creative and social aspects of the class. Lastly, if there are children roaming around, take time to spend time in their space doing an art or science project, or simply carve out time to read a book or series of books together.

***

6. Exercise: Physical health has power to improve overall health, balance cortisol levels and stress hormones, and support mental health and wellness. For example, for those with a passion for running, spending time outside in the elements and nature is quite familiar and comfortable. When winter conditions bring individuals inside, for many runners, getting on a treadmill has the tendency to feel restricting and well, frustrating. Yet, many individuals understand the importance of the safety factors involved with ice, slick outdoors conditions, and unsafe sidewalks and trails during this time of the year. Running is one example of adjusting physical activity in the winter, many types of physical activity and sports are limited to being indoors. This is where having numerous activities to engage in is beneficial. At times, individuals will start a gym membership that lasts only through the difficult winter months and when the conditions are too harsh to be outside, exercise is indoors. Exercise is something extremely personal and individual. It is important to find the right environments and educated trainers to assist with safety and personal goals. At times, individuals feel uncomfortable and/or insecure in regards to personal abilities or performance when starting an exercise regimen. Working through this difficult process builds discipline, confidence, and increases goal setting behaviors. It’s important to stay physically active consistently, to adapt activities during the winter months, and to have fun in the process. Lastly, eating healthy and well balanced each day is important for mental clarity, focus, mood, energy, and keeping away unnecessary inflammation. Treat the self well, be kind on days of struggle, set mini-goals, give time to adjust and readjust to new behaviors if necessary, and value the importance of maintaining a balance between physical health, behavioral health, and mental health.

In closing, it is important to venture out and try new things. An individual has the opportunities to try many things- ultimately it comes down to what works for each individual. It’s important to be open to trying new things consistently throughout life; even when it’s frustrating. Consistent reminders to take one behavior that isn’t working and to replace it with another behavior that may be beneficial to overall health and wellness is vital to experiencing a healthy winter (applicable with most behaviors). In a situation where an individual has tried different things, is still struggling, and having difficulty figuring out what works, or doesn’t know where to begin, seek out professional assistance from a therapist. Lastly, it is imperative to treat the self with kindness, to experience laughter and humor each day, to give time to adapt to new habits and behaviors, and to stay positive in trying new activities. Be realistic in regards to what each individual contends with and carries each day, as well as, individual starting points, and the time and dedication it takes to work towards uncovering each of the facets involved in reaching long-term goals towards a healthier life.

Feel free to share some of the ways you’ve implemented new habits and behaviors to experience winter in healthy ways. Leave a comment with any questions or curiosity you may have for more information regarding this or other subjects.

Until next time – learn, grow & enjoy,
Mandi

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.

Kurlansik Stuart L, Ibay Annamarie D. Seasonal Affective Disorder. Indian Journal of Clinical Practice. 2013 Dec; 24(7): 607-610.

Self Care (part 2)

In the last blog Self-Care (Part-1), meditation, mindfulness, and self-hypnosis were discussed as part of self-care and relaxation techniques in areas such as anxiety, grief, life transitions, as part of therapy, as positive daily coping mechanisms, and to assist in sleep. Part-2 of the segment discusses more active and physical aspects of self-care, the importance during life transitions, and touches on a few other areas.

Self-care is an important component of life-one that many grapple with. Most times, implementing and allowing self-care improves overall quality of life and dually allows an individual to step outside of one’s ‘self’, which in turn, promotes a healthier outlook on daily life and increases capacities to give to one’s self, family, community and society as a whole.

Self-care, at times, is difficult even for those that practice with consistency. This is where having an array of self-care behaviors that are easily implemented into different environments and situations is beneficial to building lifelong adaptable habits and behaviors.

I was at the park with my child recently and began speaking with a female that was there with her grandchildren. She began discussing how she had two grown children and a number of grandchildren. Each of her grown children, their partners, and her grandchildren were in the process of moving; one family was moving a few hours away and one family was moving out of state. The reality of little time with each family; especially her young grandchildren became difficult for her to contend with emotionally.

She began telling me how she is retired and that she is hoping that her husband will retire soon, yet, isn’t certain that he is ready. This is a significant part of transitioning into retirement for those partnered in a long-term relationship. She mentioned that she has been struggling greatly with this transition and isn’t certain what to do. During the conversation, we discussed things she enjoys doing and how to begin implementing things she enjoys back into her life. I noticed her discussing the past and the difficulty in transitioning forward. This is a process that many encounter when grappling with difficult transition periods throughout a person’s life span. In part, she was contending with transitioning to retirement and was anticipating her husband’s retirement, which he may not be ready to transition towards at this point in his life. A main source of difficulty was struggling with finding a major aspect of her identity without the opportunity to nurture and be a caregiver for her grandchildren. There is loss and opportunity dually in this transition period.

In daily life, self-care is essential, and vital to mental health and wellness during the process of transition periods, that are most times, filled dually with positive and difficult life changes and adjustments. Self-care becomes key to minimize depression, isolation, and the onset of an array of behavioral health and mental health issues. During our conversation, I asked her about things she enjoys. She discussed the possibility of joining a group, becoming more active by taking a fitness class, finding projects at home that would bring a sense of accomplishment, and rediscovering her passion for painting. Each self-care item appeared to bring focus to the present, and towards finding new ways to enjoy life moving forward. Presently, she is grappling with many significant areas in her life. Seeking out the assistance of a professional therapeutic relationship may be most beneficial in finding positive coping strategies, stress reduction techniques, and committing to where she currently is in life, while preparing for upcoming life transitions; as well as, in finding new ways she will be able to nurture and give in manners she finds rewarding.

Being engaged in activities including physical fitness is beneficial to a mental health and well-being. Physical activity has the potential to assist in increasing energy, improving mood, reducing anxiety, and alleviating depressive symptoms. This can be in the form of a walk outside in nature, a run, biking, cross-fit, weights, or an array of other fitness activities. It’s getting out there and starting. Whether it’s a ten-minute walk or a half marathon, there is a sense of accomplishment in working towards and finishing a set goal. For example, I enjoy running as part of self-care. It is one of my favorite forms of self-care. I am not the fastest runner- quite honestly, I pace slower currently than I did in the past. I had taken a break from running and looked forward to returning! I could feel a difference when running was missing as part of my self-care practices. I used to run by myself and more recently, I run in a group environment. For me, running challenges me, it’s a lot of fun, and is a great form of stress release. Plus, I enjoy consistently working to increase my pace and endurance levels. I recall running my first 5K. I had run the distance of a 5K in the past, yet, in returning, I was working towards having my feet on the pavement for the distance I experienced in past runs. I did decide to formally signup for a 5K. My pace was slow and crossing the finish line was a challenge; however, the entire experience was exhilarating and beneficial to me as a human-being. I continue to run and push myself in these areas. I am also looking forward to my next 5K experience.

I have met numerous individuals that tell me they don’t enjoy exercise. If you’re one of these individuals ask yourself these few questions:

What have you attempted?
How were you feeling before engaging in the self-care activity?
What were your feelings when reflecting on what you experienced during the activity?
How did you feel after?
What messages were you given throughout your life about physical activity, your body?
What messages do you carry with you currently that hold you back from physical activity and healthy self-care habits?
Which items are part of an outed cycle of thought processes that do not relate to who you are and how you see yourself as a human currently?
What are you open to trying?
What do you feel comfortable about when considering implementing new self-care habits?
What is your discomfort in the self-care activities you’re considering?
How will you overcome your discomforts? Note: you are able to engage in activities with the discomforts present; over time, the discomforts with decrease, and you’ll feel an internal sense of accomplishment that will carry with you as you tackle new activities and exposure to new environments.
If you took a pause, what were your reasons? Note: if the break was due to an injury, working with the proper medical professionals towards a full recovery and being cleared to seek out a safe replacement, whether temporary or long-term has the potential to be a beneficial option for those that function better with consistent activity as part of daily self-care habits.

Each of the above questions is a starting point for you to begin exploring your personal experiences and feelings regarding self-care. If you need further assistance, you’re able to talk with your therapist regarding the process of overcoming personal obstacles to improving overall mental health, behavioral health, wellness, and consistency with self-care.

This segment discussed physical ways to engage in self-care and touched on life transitions. Clients and friends mention the level of guilt in taking time for self-care. It is important to work towards utilizing energies for positive daily self-care practices that work for you and your family, which was touched on in Self-Care (Part-1), and to move away from guilt and shaming. Treat yourself with kindness and allow yourself to engage in activities that you may feel a level of uncertainty and discomfort with at first. Give yourself the time and practice to improve, while enjoying the benefits of creating life-long self-care practices.

Lastly, surround yourself with positive people that bring out your natural energy, and create a sense of pleasure and laughter in your life. Self-care increases capacities to function in more desirable manners. It is healthy for brain function and it is immensely beneficial for human-beings to experience the enjoyment of learning new ways of being engaged in self-care and being physically active.

Learn, grow, engage in self-care & enjoy,
Mandi

Self Care

Self-care is an essential aspect of a quality life, yet, difficult for many. This is important for many individuals. Self-care is vital to overall health and well-being, and has the potential to assist with high levels of stress, daily stressors, anxiety, depression, grief, welcomed and unwelcomed life transitions, and many other aspects of being human. For example, a professional that is balancing an array of responsibilities daily, benefits greatly from self-care. A stay at home mom or dad that hasn’t had any real down time or break for weeks, possibly longer, benefits immensely. A person that has recently retired and it adjusting to a completely different lifestyle and set of supports may have a smoother transition with self-care rituals. A child or adolescent that’s contending with growth and development, issues at school, or even the grief and processing of parents’ recent divorce has the potential to work through difficult emotions with the support of self-care. You may identify with one or more of these examples, know somebody with similar experiences, or have your own unique story and life circumstances.

For example, meditation, mindfulness, and self-hypnosis are each self-care techniques that assist with capacities to decompress, relax, and bring balance to an individual. These techniques assist in relaxing the parasympathetic nervous system. For many, this allows deeper slower breathing, which aids in increased oxygen to one’s brain, lowered blood pressure, and relief from emotional and physiological symptoms of stress.

I have encountered clients and individuals that enjoy relaxation techniques and those that have difficulty with gaining the discipline to practice relaxation as part of self-care with consistency. It does take commitment, practice, and, at times, the assistance of a professional’s help and expertise. Other times, it is as easy as downloading an app and carving out time to begin. This is especially relevant for those preoccupied with anxiety. It is difficult for many suffering with anxiety to step away from the anxiety experienced; especially those with generalized anxiety. Many clients fear stepping away from anxious thoughts. The thoughts will feel more manageable after practicing any combination of the self-care and relaxation techniques discussed. At times, a therapist may utilize self-hypnosis with cognitive behavioral therapy when it appears beneficial for the client. A therapist may also recommend a combination of each technique to practice at home in between sessions.

Additionally, mindfulness, meditation, and self-hypnosis have potential to be beneficial for a person (at any age) with sleep issues. Deep breathing is a beneficial facet of relaxation. Deep breathing is relevant to, for example, young children with fears that contribute to sleeping issues, as well as, for adults that fall asleep to the sound and lights of a television only to experience decades of interrupted sleep cycles and the difficulties correlated with these behaviors. Engaging in these techniques assist with redirecting focus and aiding in a sense of well-being to assist in promoting healthier sleep cycles over time.

There are an array of meditation, mindfulness, and self-hypnosis techniques as part of self-care. The benefit of having options is in giving more opportunities to find a combination of techniques for individuals to utilize at different times. As a counselor, it is beneficial for my clients to have several different types of self-care techniques available. At times, I recommend starting with one technique, checking in with how the client feels, and with time, building towards having several positive self-care options available to choose from. Integrating a variety of self-care rituals in different environments gives opportunity to practice positive and consistent self-care habits across the life-span. I engage in each of the techniques discussed, and many others as part of my self-care rituals. I enjoy aspects of each; especially self-hypnosis. For me, practicing each, dually relaxes and reenergizes me as a human-being. In Part-2 of the Self-Care segment, I will discuss a different set of self-care techniques to utilize with what was discussed in Part-1. Self-Care Part-2 will include more active ways to manage stress.

Feel free to share some of your experiences of utilizing meditation, mindfulness, and/or self-hypnosis as part of self-care. Leave a comment with any questions or curiosity you may have for more information regarding meditation, mindfulness, and/or self-hypnosis as part of self-care.

Learn, grow, & enjoy,
Mandi

Tag: self care

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